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Railway Union v Merrion: Division 1 match at Park Avenue played on 26th August

A few years ago the American medic turned evolutionary biologist turned geographer Jared Diamond wrote a book called Collapse, in which he advocated that environmental pressures may cause societies to disintegrate, a view contrary to that of archaeologist Joseph Tainter in his The collapse of complex societies.

Professors Diamond and Tainter would have had a lot to discuss had they been at Park Avenue today watching the rearranged Division 1 match between Railway Union and Merrion.  Both sides were short a few regulars, but the Railway team in particular looked strong enough.

Merrion won the toss and stuck Railway in.  This paid immediate dividends when Ross McDonald got one to move off the seam, take the edge of Tom Fisher's bat and give Kade Beasley a simple catch.  Ernie Extras blazed away with a couple of fives, and was comfortably top scorer when Kevin O'Brien gave Beazo another catch off McDonald, chasing one he could well have left alone.

Conor Mullen dug in, and after Kenny Carroll survived a big lbw appeal on the back foot, he overtook Ernie's score.  The 15 overs Power Play ended on 53-2, and the score made its way to 77 when Mullie, on n-n-n-nervous n-n-n-nineteen missed a straight one from Greg Clarence.

Then Tim Townend did what he does best, played a silly shot to be caught by Anderson off Clarence, and it was 81-4 at drinks.  Clarence was getting plenty of turn, and posted Jeff Short at leg gully.  Kenny Carroll, 34, immediately obliged, and Shortie took a smart catch.

Simon Morrissey finished a good spell from the St John's Road end with the wicket of Mo Tariq, and then Johnny Anderson tried his leg breaks.  Saad Ullah lunged at the googly and top edged it to Jeff Short running round from slip.

Carlo Rendell popped a catch to Dom Joyce off Anderson to make it 104-8, but Mark Ingram hung around with Paddy Conliffe to take the score to 118 when he too was c Joyce b Anderson.  Greg Lambert wasn't about to give his wicket away, and watched Conliffe whack a couple of half-trackers in Clarence's final over.

The refugee from Phoenix had reached 29 and the total 139 when he pushed at Anderson too firmly and was taken by Clarence.  Railway were all out in 43.2 overs courtesy of nine catches.  Anderson took 4/12, Clarence 3/44, McDonald 2/14 and Morrissey 1/21.  Ernie finished third top scorer on 26.

There was more than half an hour to the scheduled tea interval, so Merrion had to bat until ten past three.  Carlo Rendell had Damian Poder for 0 in his second over, acrobatically caught and bowled (showboating?), Clarence drilled a four and took a single, and then Dave Watkins was very lbw.

Dom Joyce should have been caught off Rendell on two, Ingram diving across first slip and failing to hold on, and then he and Clarence batted safely to tea at 26-2 off eight overs.  Tea was really nice, a throwback to the old Railway teas supervised by Joey O'Meara's missus, and the Merrion 3 and 4 made their way safely to 66 with some lovely shots.

Game over, I suggested to David Carroll and Mr Conliffe Snr.  I was right, but not the way I meant.  Greg Clarence, 29, lost his off stump to Mo Tariq: it kept low, but it must have moved, because Clarence is too good a bat to miss straight ones.

Then Joyce had his stumps flattened by Paddy Conliffe, out for 18, and that was that.  Greg Lambert is a decent off-spinner, bowls a nice full length and a good line, but Murali he ain't.  True, he doesn't have a doosra, but Jim Laker he ain't.  He took a return catch from Johnny Anderson to make it 75-5.

Then Kade Beasley played so far forward to Tariq that he could have shaken hands with the umpire, except that the umpire's finger was airborne to uphold the lbw shout.  Jeff Short was bowled by Lambert, Kirk Shimmons poked a catch to Tim Townend, and Ross McDonald missed another straight one.

When 'Kiwi' Keaveney was bowled by Conliffe, Merrion were 86 all out in the 29th over, losing their last eight wickets for twenty runs in thirteen overs.  Without good old Ernie, the score would have been only 63!

Rendell took 2/28, Tariq 2/11, Conliffe 2/15 and old man river, Greg Lambert, 4/7 off 6.  I have to go with Jared Diamond and invoke environmental factors in the two collapses.  All day there was a howling east wind freezing the proverbials off all and sundry.  Who on earth wants to play in that?

I had been dressed appropriately, long trousers and long-sleeved shirt, which when I got home I had to take off immediately and change into shorts and a tee-shirt because I was so darned hot.  The Railway side has evolved to withstand the sub-Arctic conditions better than the visitors, so their collapse wasn't as bad.

But Joseph Tainter would ask the question, why nine catches first up and only three in the second dig, seven falling to (one of them allegedly) straight ones?  How does the east wind blowing all the way from the Urinals explain that?  Perhaps we need not a geography nor an archaeology but a sports psychology of collapse.