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Railway Union v The Hills: Division 1 match at Park Avenue on Saturday, 3rd September

There really was only one place to be on the final Saturday of the Division 1 season, and that was the Railway and Steam Packet Union sports grounds off Park Avenue, where the home team were entertaining The Hills, one of three teams who could pip them for the league title should Railway Union lose.

Various stattos had calculated that The Hills would need to win and gain at least three bonus points for them to gain the title.  Were Railway to lose and The Hills not to gain sufficient bonus points, then the title would go to whichever of Merrion or North County were to win: if both won, North County would edge out Merrion.

The rain had cleared during the morning, leaving the ground a touch damp, but perfectly playable.  Tom Fisher won the toss for Railway and asked The Hills to set a score.  Manu Kumar took strike under the dark brown eye of his beautiful lady companion.  He hoisted Paddy Conliffe over mid on for two, but in Conliffe's second over he missed a ball which kept very low and hit the pad.  If it was straight, it was out; it was, and it was.

In came Mike Baumgart, a very busy player who likes things to happen.  At the other end was Darryl Calder, who takes plenty of time to get going.  The only excitement came when Calder leg glanced Conliffe just out of the reach of 'keeper Sam Farthing for what should have been two easy runs.  But Calder collided with Baumgart coming back for the second, and had the throw been better he would have been run out.

The mandatory power play ended with the total on 18, but when Mo Tariq replaced Conliffe from the Sandymount end and Patrick Collins relieved Greg Lambert from the St. John's Road end, things began to happen.  And it wasn't anything to do with Collins's pink hair.  Previously dyed blond, he'd dyed his barnet pink to raise money for breast cancer.  So, thanks to Glenn McGrath, he was purveying his offies looking like a squat flamingo.

Flamingos get their pink colouration from a diet high in certain crustaceans.  I presume Patrick is  being fed plenty of prawns to prevent the rain from washing out the pink.  Collins is a very good fielder off his own bowling, and went a long way to his right to incercept an on drive from Calder.  Seeing Baumgart backing up well out of his crease, still on the ground he shied at the stumps, missed narrowly, and conceded a single for his troubles.

Both batsmen were now scoring more freely, and 24 were added during the bowling power play.  The fifty partnership came up in the 20th over, and as they got used to the pace of the pitch, both batsmen were happy to get on to the back foot, Baumgart to cut, Calder to pull.  Drinks were taken at 76-1, and should The Hills get over 200, that might be a very tough chase for Railway.

The 29th over was bowled by Tariq, returning after a couple of overs of Kapoor's medium pace.  Baumgart, 33, made a mess of a cut, and the catch was taken by Conor Mullen at backward point.  87-2 became 88-3 when Max Sorensen tried to whack Kenny Carroll through mid wicket, but put it too close to Trent Johnston, and Green23 just doesn't drop catches.

Dhruv Kapoor should have caught Calder on the mid wicket boundary in front of the club house, and as I was discussing the miss with Mr Kapoor Sr, Calder squirted the ball behind square on the leg side towards the rugby pitch.  Naseer called the run, but couldn't beat Dhruv's direct hit, much to the father's delight.  That was 96-4, and the collapse continued when first Calder was lbw to Kapoor for 49, then Yogesh bowled by Lambert, making it 101-6 in the 34th over.

Tomas Murphy and Mark Dwyer dug in and added 34 runs in 8 overs when Dwyer chanced a single to Tom Fisher and was run out for 11.  Mal Byrne got on with it, survived a chance to Collins, and made 19 before holing out to Conor Mullen.  Murphy perished for 25, slogging Carroll to Mo Tariq, and the brothers Clinton got the score to 185-9 at the end of 50 overs, something to bowl at but not really enough.  Lambert took 2-18 off his ten overs, and Carroll 2/23 off seven.

After an excellent tea, Railway began their chase for what would be their first league title since 1962.  Mr Kapoor asked me if I rembered it.  I replied that I was at school in Romford.  I didn't tell him I was one of a couple of hundred boys lusting after the headmaster's secretary.  She disappeared with one of the Maths teachers, which boosted Maths enrolments (we obviously learnt something, because the summer 1963 O level Maths results were record-breaking!).  I digress.

Kenny Carroll had made 12 out of 14 when he nicked off in Naseer's second over.  After an early top edge over the keeper for four, Conor Mullen was in great touch, and with Fisher's on drive in perfect working order, the score rattled along, reaching 62 at the end of the mandatory power play.  Max Sorensen replaced Luke Clinton from the St. John's Road end, Mark Dwyer took over from Naseer at the Sandymount end, and the gallop slowed to a canter.

Then Mullen was spectacularly caught by Naseer at slip off Dwyer, low and wide to his right, for 32, next over Trent Johnston miscued Sorensen to Murphy, and it was 78-3 in the 16th over.  But Fisher was batting well, and after an unsteady start Graeme McDonnell got into the groove.  His six into the seats in front of the clubhouse was about ten minutes too late – when instead of scattering a few people watching the cricket, it would have put manners on score of coke-and-burger-fuelled screaming brats.

Fisher's fifty was reached in the 27th over, and McDonnell got to 35 with a four through Sorensen's legs in the 31st over.  But Max got his revenge, bowling him in the 32nd over – 144-4.  In Sorensen's next over Collins couldn't get out of the way of a lifter, nibbling it through to Calder.  Now with steam coming out of his ears, Max produced a snorter which Mo Tariq parried straight up in the air.  Sorensen barged several of his mates out of the way to take the catch.

Paddy Conliffe defended the hat-trick, but was just hanging in.  Mal Byrne injured himself attempting to catch Fisher, and a sprog was sent on to sub field.  Sorensen finished his spell and was replaced by Naseer, who nicked off for 77 with Railway still fourteen short and now seven wickets down.  We knew that Merrion had beaten Pembroke and that North County had beaten Clontarf.

So would the league go to County or to Railway?  Conliffe edged Naseer through the slips – I don't know if it was a catch – and he and Kapoor took the score to 182.  Then the game and league were won with a lovely cover drive from Kapoor off Murphy, and the celebrations began.  Sorensen was very good for his 4/36, and Naseer is still a class act with 2/40.  But the better team won.

I still think North County are the best team around, but their poor discipline cost them dearly this season.  And I don't just mean their inappropriate use of four-letter words.  They know they didn't play as well as they could and should have at Waringstown to exit the Bob Kerr Irish Senior Cup, and they know they blew the Leinster Senior Cup Final.

I'm not trying to take anything away from Waringstown or from Merrion – they're very good sides who can tough their way out of trouble – but had there been a lot more leadership and a bit less aggression from certain County players, the three big pots would have ended up in the trophy cabinet at Inch.  Next season is going to be very interesting.