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Division 1: The Hills v Phoenix

On Sunday I was up with the lark, had a large breakfast and made my way to Milverton.  It was just as well there were no scones when I arrived, because I wouldn't have done justice to them.

As I chatted to the gardener, the man who used to be l'equipage qui rit, Mike Baumgart won the toss and invited Phoenix to bat.  Ted Williamson and Rory Flanagan found the going tough against Naseer and Joseph Clinton, both of whom were getting some movement and bounce.

Naz must have decided to give it a bit more oomph, because he overstepped.  Williamson whacked the free hit back over Naseer's head.  He then attempted to repeat the shot and holed out to Luke Clinton.  Ryan Gallagher clipped his first ball beautifully to the mid wicket boundary.  I missed the photo because, having counted six deliveries, I'd wandered off to tweet Ted's dismissal, forgetting about the no ball.  Everybody except the umpires was then surprised when there was an eighth delivery.

In his next over, Naz hurried one on to Flanagan and trapped him in front of all three.  An over later, Clinton bowled Gallagher, and Phoenix were in trouble at 28-3.  Their most consistent batsman this season, Conor Kelly, then popped a catch off Naz to Mal Byrne at extra cover, and it was 28-4.  In the fifteenth over David Langford-Smith played the same shot with the same result and it was 35-5, Naz on a Guildford Four-for.

That should have become a Michelle Five-for, but a dolly catch was grassed and Corie Dickeson made the most of his luck, taking 14 off Naseer's last over to leave him with figures of 10-1-38-4.  Joseph Clinton, too, bowled out (10-2-32-1).  Dickeson took one liberty too many in Luke Clinton's first over, and holed out for 31 out of 75-6.

Tom Anders dropped anchor while Jeremy Bray played skilfully, and the pair edged the total into three figures.  Max Sorensen was lively from the Blackhills end, getting plenty of bounce, but even so Bray once managed to hit him for successive boundaries.  The scoreboad read 111, Nelson, and the inevitable happened.

Bray, 33, lunged forward to Sorensen and there was a big appeal after the ball hit the pad.  Umpire Alastair Henderson had a think and lifted the finger.  JB was not a happy bunny.  He'd already had a full and frank exchange of views with Mark Dwyer, deputising for the absent Darryll Calder behind the stumps, and now pondered having another deep discussion.  He thought better of it and made his way back to the hutch.

Sorensen was too good for Osama Khan, but Anders and Wardell hung around to get Phoenix to 130 in 37.1 overs.  Sorensen had taken the last four wickets for 17 in just over eight overs.  I meant to ask him about his sore back, but I forgot.  The Wilberries had to bat before tea, Mal Byrne and Manu Kumar adding 21 in eight overs, although Byrne could have been taken at slip.

The jam and cream scones were there at tea and very gratefully consumed!  We got back to the cricket and as Phoenix grew ever more desperate for a breakthrough their appealing became equally desperate and decidedly bad-tempered.  How can all eleven guys fail to hear a huge inside edge and get very ratty when the umpire says “not out”?  Why does the keeper need to jump three times in the air while appealing for a catch that the batsman played at and missed comfortably?

Even worse, why do the spectators have to start muttering about disgraceful decisions when they're seventy-five yards away?  Yes, JB had a very good case with his lbw, but I think he was very generously treated by the same umpire when he had scored only two!  Whatever happened to swings and roundabouts?  But I digress.

The opening partnership had reached 82 when Kumar, 24, squirted the ball into the covers and failed to respond quickly enough to Byrne's call for a single.  However, all was not lost - there was nobody at the stumps, so Osama Khan from backward point had to hit them.  He did.  Nineteen runs later there was that rarity – a Bray smile.

Mal Byrne got in a tangle with a Sadaf Raza delivery, and got a leading edge which looped over JB at a shortish mid on.  He turned round and flung himself full length to gather the ball inches above the ground.  Byrne, 41 out of 101, was quickly followed by Naseer, caught by Flanagan off Bray for a duck.

There was plenty of over-zealous appealing, one very close lbw shout, lots of oohs and aahs, I think a dropped catch behind the stumps (though I stand to be corrected on that) before Mike Baumgart (20*) and Max Sorensen (14*) got The Hills home off the last ball of the 33rd over.  I didn't go into the bar, but I presume they're all still talking to each other.

After all, Alan Karen and I are still talking to each other, and we had serious differences of opinion in a serious league – Middle A – when men were men and the sheep were scared.  But then we all drank a gallon and drove home happy!